Monday, May 9, 2011

Character Interrogation -> Put to use!

As the final post in this Character Interrogation series I have decided to put what I have learned about Maia to the test. I have taken an entry straight from my WIP, Midnight Raynne, and altered it to fit Maia better, now that I know Maia better.

Part I can be found here, Part II can be found here, and Part III can be found here. 

Original entry from Midnight Raynne: 

      I watch Maia as she runs down the middle of the street jumping in each and every puddle along the way. "Come on Raynne, join me," she hollers splashing in another puddle. The water splashes out of its hole and all the way up to her thighs. Maia dances a little and waves me over to her. I shake my head and pull my umbrella down a little more. I already made enough of a fool out of myself today. The last thing I wanted was for Jayden to see me do a face plant right into a puddle. That would totally be my luck. I could see the epic face plant playing out in my head. There was no way I was joining Maia today.

     I keep along the sidewalk, as best as I can. It's breaking apart and allows water to pool up in places. "Fine! Be that way!" Maia waves and runs through every puddle possible to the other side of the road. She doesn't stop there, no, she hits every mud puddle in her potholed driveway up to the front door. I'm sure she's just going to change into her work clothes and take off, through the puddles again, to the public bus stop a few feet away from our school bus stop, and then off to work. 
 

Altered entry using information from Maia's character interrogation: 

      I watch Maia as she runs down the middle of the street jumping in each and every puddle along the way. "Come on Raynne, join me," she hollers splashing in another puddle. The water splashes out of its hole and all the way up to her thighs leaving her black thigh-high socks drenched. I'm sure water is starting to pool up in her combat boots. Maia dances a little, spinning out her black skirt, and waves me over to her. I shake my head and pull my umbrella down a little more. I already made enough of a fool out of myself today. The last thing I wanted was for Jayden to see me do a face plant right into a puddle. That would totally be my luck. I could see the epic face plant playing out in my head. There was no way I was joining Maia today. I'm just not that carefree, especially around Jayden.

     I keep along the sidewalk, as best as I can. It's breaking apart and allows water to pool up in places. "Fine! Be that way!" Maia waves and runs through every puddle possible to the other side of the road. She doesn't stop there, no, she hits every mud puddle in her potholed driveway up to the front door. I'm sure she's just going to change into her work clothes and take off, through the puddles again, to the public bus stop a few feet away from our school bus stop, and then off to work. As she swings her front door open I see her step-mom, Rachel, stop her before she can run inside all muddy and wet. Maia throws her hands up in protest, but I already know Rachel will win this battle, she always does.


Your Turn -> Do you agree with me that Maia is better represented by the new piece? What are your thoughts on this process? Have you tried this in your own writing?

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